I’ve got it! Scientists are monkeys!

A recent study on monkeys supposedly shows that men who grow beards “might be growing beards to appear more attractive to women and more dominant to other men.”

Yeah, that’s it, it has nothing to do with the fact that maybe, either:

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Killer pilot’s ex-girlfriend’s stunning admission

I have to question the intelligence of the killer-pilot’s ex-girlfriend who didn’t think to report her pilot boyfriend saying. “I’m planning a heinous act that will be remembered forever.”

Did she think he was saying, “I’m going to eat a whole box of chocolates?”

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Arrest at Abortion Mill leads to Victory!

Washington Post accuses Ofc. Darren Wilson of executing Michael Brown

The Washington Post attempts to set the record straight on “hands up don’t shoot,” but accuses Darren Wilson of executing Michael Brown.

Their exact words are:

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